Help Me Grow | United Way of Utah County

Mother’s Day Guilt

Mother’s day- What a great day to celebrate our mothers and all they have done for us! However, I never considered that a mother might feel what I call “Mother’s Day guilt.” I first heard of this while my husband and I were having dinner with my aunt and uncle, who frequently invite us over for dinner. Somehow, Mother’s Day was brought up, and my aunt said, “I hate Mother’s Day.” I was surprised to hear this, who would not love a day dedicated to them and gets to be spoiled? She explained that she sits in church and listens to people talk about how amazing their mothers are and all the wonderful things their mothers did and so on, and feels she does not measure up to these other moms.

I wonder how many other moms experience Mother’s day guilt. They may see or hear things in church, on Facebook or Instagram, or anywhere else about amazing mothers, and feel that does not describe them.
Today I want to say to all mothers, THANK YOU! It does not matter if you are what you consider a “super mom”. I believe being a mom is the hardest job out there, and you did it and are continuing to do it! My mom loves the quote “A mother’s work is never done.”

Here are some tips to remember that you are an amazing mom:

Do not compare yourself to other moms. Every mother has a different journey. Every mother has different talents. Every mother has children with different temperaments. Love your journey, your talents, and your children- even the difficult ones.

Set goals for yourself. If you hear about a mom who bakes a dozen cookies from scratch every day for her child’s preschool class and you wish that was you, do not get down on yourself. Set goals on how to improve. Take baby steps- developing a new talent or trait takes time.

Count every success. Even the small ones. You may not view your success quite as admirable as another mom’s, but it is your success. Do not undermine what you did.

Oftentimes what you hear and see is exaggerated. No mother is perfect and free of challenges. People often chose to display their best self on social media.

Your child’s choices do not reflect your parenting: Children rebel. Despite your teaching about values and morals, your child may still make poor decisions. Everyone has the ability to make his or her own decisions. Do not think your child’s poor choices are because of you.

A tip for fathers: Make your wife feel loved and appreciated. Ask your children to write thank you notes or color a picture. I believe the Mother’s Day present my mother cherishes the most is a book of pictures and stories of memories of our mother from our childhood.

Moms, remember you are loved and appreciated. Thank you!

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