A recent survey of parents in the United States shows that while 82% of parents were expected to do chores in their childhood homes, only 28% are continuing to expect that from their children. This is an unfortunate statistic because there are a myriad of benefits that come to both the family unit and the individual children when they have home-life responsibilities. If you, too, have chosen not to give your children the opportunity to participate in chores, here are five reasons why having them help around the house is important and three ways you can encourage them to do so.
How can chores benefit my child?
- Teach them responsibility and independence. If you give your children responsibilities around the house, they learn how to look after their own belongings and how to do things for themselves. As they become more confident about taking care of these responsibilities, they will feel more independent and may not require your assistance with as many tasks.
- Teach them gratitude. In an article Dr. Dona Matthews wrote for Psychology Today, she states that bringing children into the world of chores allows them to understand how much work it takes to keep the household functioning. As they more deeply understand this hard work, they are more likely to feel and express gratitude for the comforts they are given.
- Foster family unity. Working in the home together creates the feeling of having a common goal. When you help each other with your various tasks and work with one goal in mind, your children are more likely to feel a sense of oneness with the whole family. You can also use the time spent together to talk with one another and get to know each other better!
- Improve their self-esteem. As you give your kids bigger and bigger responsibilities, you are giving them the opportunity to feel a sense of accomplishment when they finish their assigned tasks. Allowing them to help with chores shows them that they are more capable than they might have thought.
- Teach them empathy. Researcher Marty Rossmann from the University of Mississippi found that children who started chores when they were young grew up to have more empathy for others. When children experience working to take care of the things that they have, they have an easier time seeing the hard work others are doing and opening their minds to their situations.
How can I encourage my kids to help?
One of the easiest ways to make sure your children are prepared to help with home responsibilities is to start them young. When children are expected to help around the house at a young age, they begin to see chores as a regular part of their home life. If you start young, there’s less of a chance you’ll have to wrestle with your kids about chores later in life, but there are still ways to encourage their effort even if you start later.
Making chores seem like a team effort can help prevent any resentment toward having to help. When everyone in the family is helping in some way, there is no room for feeling unjustified. You can schedule a time of day, like after dinner, when everyone does their respective chores at the same time so no one feels like they are working more than others. You can also help your children with their chores, especially in the early stages. As you work alongside your child and show them how to do a task, they will feel more confident in their ability to do it well and less frustrated with their responsibilities.
Don’t forget to be flexible when your child needs it. Children need a balance of structure and flexibility in all aspects of their lives, and chores are no different. If your child normally does chores before dinner, but they have a big project due in the next couple of hours, let them take that time to work on it. You can make a plan with your child about when they will get their home responsibilities done if they aren’t going to do it at the previously designated time. When children have some autonomy attached to the responsibility and do not feel trapped into doing chores, they are more likely to consistently participate.
Every family situation is different, but there are always things that need to get done around the house, so why don’t you include your children in at least some of the responsibilities? Encouraging your children to help around the house will not only increase the amount of things that get done at home but will also help teach your children numerous lessons that will help them become better-adjusted adults.
