Did you know how you praise a child can be linked to the mindset they develop?
Have you ever heard the terms Growth mindset and Fixed mindset? Do you know the difference? A fixed mindset is believing that you can’t learn more or do better. It limits learning to how things are now. The Growth mindset is accepting the challenge. As Carol Dweck put it, it is the difference between the power of yet and the tyranny of now. She discusses it in this video.
A growth mindset is believing you can learn and improve. For example: a child with a growth mindset, when presented with a challenge like a difficult math problem, would recognize that even though it is difficult they can do the math with practice and putting forth the effort. The Growth mindset allows the child to approach any challenge with excitement and determination. Whereas a child with a fixed mindset in math might say something like: “I can’t get better at this.” The fixed mindset intrudes on the child’s ability to approach new challenges or new information.
Another term that is important to know when talking about mindsets is “learned helplessness”. Learned helplessness is what comes from having a fixed mindset. One example of this is when someone experiences failure once and then doesn’t think they can ever overcome that failure, so they stop trying. Learned helplessness is evident usually when a child is used to having things done for them. Consider the difference of a child being encouraged to put in the work that will help their learning.
One of the simplest things we can do to shift our children’s thinking from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset is to be aware of how we are speaking to them. For example, a phrase likely to encourage the fixed mindset would be “Wow, you are so smart in math.” This elicits the fixed mindset because you praise the now or the talent rather than the process of how they got there. A phrase that would likely encourage a growth mindset would be; “You have worked so hard in math this year, look at how much you have improved with multiplication facts.” Sometimes when we praise our children with things like telling them they are smart, gifted, talented, etc. we unintentionally tell the child their worth is dependent on being that specific thing. They might start to fear failure. When we praise their efforts, it encourages them to keep working hard. Then they also learn to know that things don’t just come easy or natural all the time. It is not my intent to discourage parents from complimenting their children with things like telling them they are smart, gifted, talented, etc. Instead let’s add in praising their efforts, too. There’s room for both!
