Having a second baby, or any child after that is a big change for a family. This new child might seem fussier or more difficult than your first. We want to offer some ideas to help parents adjust well to the new addition.
Here are some things to consider:
- Your Bond with Baby: As you now know, young babies need to eat many, many times a day. With your first baby, it might have been easy to bond with them during feedings, but now you may have a toddler battling for your attention the entire feeding. You might consider making a nursing/feeding basket to entertain your older child(ren) during these moments. This can help ensure you have the opportunity to create a strong positive connection with your infant, balancing out the harder moments you may have during the day.
- Baby’s Temperament: Each child’s temperament (or how they react to the world around them) is unique. This new baby’s temperament might be drastically different from that of your other children or your own. This might be frustrating, especially at first, but we can give you tips to help you understand this baby and give them what they need to thrive.
- For example, if you recognize that your baby seems crankier or smiles less, increase your efforts to cuddle and be loving. If your baby seems sensitive to light, sound, or other senses, take some time to find out what might be bothering her.
- Sibling Jealousy: Your older child(ren) might miss the time and attention they received from you before this baby was born, and their reactions to this change might add to your stress. You might try to plan in special time with each child individually as often as you can to help them feel seen and loved.
- Your Own Feelings of Burnout: You don’t have to raise these little ones alone. Receiving some support every now and then will help you to feel more peace during the day and be able to connect better with your little one.
- Ask family, friends, or your church group to take a little off of your plate by helping with meals or cleaning the house.
- Trade babysitting with another mom in your neighborhood.
- Have someone take the older child(ren) out for an activity so that you can focus on bonding with your baby or taking a nap.
- Consider utilizing the Family Support Center in your area for free childcare in order to get a mental break.
- Symptoms of Postpartum Depression: Even if you didn’t have postpartum depression with your other child(ren), things are different this time around, so be aware of these symptoms.
- Take one small step to better meet your basic needs (nutrition, sleep, exercise, etc.).
- Make time for self-care or do something you enjoy every day.
- Start seeing a therapist to help you work through difficult emotions and/or talk to your doctor.
- The State of Your Marriage: It can be extremely helpful to share with your best friend your daily ups and downs. But be aware that this new baby can make things more stressful between you two unless you are intentionally strengthening your relationship regularly.
This new baby may bring different challenges, but there is also good news! Some of the challenges from the last baby won’t apply. You are now a pro at changing diapers, buckling the car seat, trimming baby’s nails, and hopefully, you feel more confident in general after caring for your other baby/babies. This is an exciting time as you also get to look forward to your children becoming best friends and your love for each child continuing to grow.
