Imagine for a second you see the world through your baby’s eyes. It is gigantic, full of unfamiliar sights, sounds, and smells. You don’t yet have words to describe the things you see. You may not know where you are or be able to differentiate faces. However, you do know that some people feel safer than others and you like being around those people. It makes the world feel less confusing, less daunting, and more comfortable. It is that initial instinct for safety that drives our universal human desire to feel connected, loved, and valued throughout life.
Our social connections have an incredible impact on our personal development. And it starts from the moment we’re born! Those early experiences set the foundation for the way we relate to others throughout life. The process of learning to regulate emotions and navigate social interactions is called Social-Emotional Development. Your child’s chances for success can be greatly improved by 1. Recognizing social emotional concerns and 2. Accessing the appropriate support networks to address them.
Recognizing Your Child’s Strengths and Potential Concerns
One tool that Help Me Grow Utah offers to help parents understand their child’s social and emotional development is the Ages and Stages Questionnaire: Social-Emotional (ASQ:SE-2) screening. This FREE tool looks at 7 main behavioral areas: self-regulation, compliance, adaptive functioning, autonomy, affect, social-communication, and interaction with people. It is composed of simple questions for parents and legal guardians to consider. For an infant, you could be asked, “Is your baby able to calm himself down (for example, by sucking on his hand or pacifier?“. For an older child, “Is your child interested in things around him, such as people, toys, and foods?”
Ilse DeKoeyer, Early Relational Health Specialist, explains the value of the ASQ:SE and the information it provides parents:
“Social and emotional skills are foundational for success in many areas of life. Research has found that children with more optimal social skills and a better understanding of their emotions and how to regulate them do better in school. This makes sense: children who can wait for their turn, calm themselves down, and ask for help when they need it, are better able to learn. They are also better liked by other children, which facilitates friendships. More optimal social and emotional skills also make life easier for parents! Parents play an essential role in helping to build these skills, by being emotionally available for their little ones, soothing their big feelings, and teaching them ways to handle their emotions. In the beginning, young children need safe adults to co-regulate their emotions. This fosters a learning process that teaches them, “If I have an overwhelming feeling, I know it’s going to be okay.” When children learn techniques like using their words to describe what they feel or what they need, this helps adults to know how to help, for example. It’s not always easy to teach social-emotional skills when a family is experiencing hardships or when the child is born with challenges or has experienced stressful events. But ALL children can learn social and emotional skills at their own level with the help of their caregivers and Help Me Grow is here to help parents find resources to support their children’s social-emotional development.”
Seeking Appropriate Support Networks
Help Me Grow Utah has many parenting tips and resources to promote social emotional growth. We always recommend a practice called Special Time. Here are a few other examples of simple activities you can do at home starting today (find more from Ages & Stages here):
Infants:
- Hold your baby and put your face close to hers. Make silly faces. Smile at your baby. Stick out your tongue. Yawn. Wait a few seconds and see if she tries to repeat your actions back to you.
- When you make silly faces and smile at your baby, it encourages eye contact and interaction. By mimicking your actions, your baby learns about social cues and emotional expressions.
Toddlers:
- Your toddler likes to have a regular daily routine. Talk to him about what you are doing now and what will happen next. Give him time to be active and time to be quiet.
- Routines create a sense of safety and control over life, as your toddler learns what to expect.
- Give your toddler choices but keep them simple. Let her choose a red or a blue shirt while dressing. Let her choose milk or juice for lunch.
- The opportunity to make small decisions helps support your child’s autonomy and sense of self, which helps them be clearer about what they want and communicate wants and needs with others.
Preschoolers:
- Introduce a new feeling each day, such as “bored”. Use pictures, gestures, and words. Encourage your child to use a variety of words to describe how he feels.
- The ability to label feelings helps your child to make distinctions between all the feelings that she or he experiences. This helps the child communicate about these feelings and figure out how to best handle them.
Sometimes, it can be very helpful to get some hands-on parenting education or support. For example, throughout the state there are Home Visiting Programs, Early Intervention programs, and the Families First program. Enrolling your child in a high-quality early childhood program, such as Head Start, can also foster social and emotional skills.
It’s important to recognize that some social emotional concerns are more complex than others. When children have experienced difficult things or traumatic events (e.g., a hospital stay), they may need specialized therapy services, such as those offered by The Children’s Center Utah. You can learn more about childhood trauma and trauma informed care online at The National Child Traumatic Stress Network. Talk to your Parent Support Specialist to discuss the best ways to support YOUR child’s social and emotional development and take an ASQ:SE-2!
