Have you ever looked at that bundle of joy (though maybe they are in toddler or child form) you brought into your life and thought, “Who am I raising?” If so, you are not alone.
Do you feel your child is fussy, irritable, or triggered by the smallest thing? Is your child constantly on the go? Are you longing for a child who is pliable and easy to mold? What if your child is shy and introverted, and struggling with confidence? Why is your child the strong-willed one? Is there anyone in the world who is blessed with a child who is always happy and never bossy?
Sound familiar? Don’t worry, many parents have similar thoughts at some point. Here are some tips on how to help. Read more here.
Does having a child who is fussy, irritable, and triggered by the smallest thing resonate with you?
Then your child may be an Anxious Exploder. The good news is that this child is highly sensitive and ready to absorb the feelings around them. As a parent of an Anxious Exploder remember to be calm, firm, and most of all grounded as this will help alleviate your child setting off a surge of “big” emotions. Remind yourself that if you become reactive by becoming angry or anxious, your child will sense those feelings and their reaction could turn into a whirlwind of chaos. Help your child create a place for them to have the solace they need, even just having them close their eyes and remind themselves that they are safe.
Maybe you are raising a Hyperactive Explorer, a child who can never sit still. If you tell them to wait for you here, it’s almost guaranteed that they will not be there when you return. Never fear, you are raising an incredibly curious child, one who wants to be engaged in the world around them. They are so active in their minds and bodies that some might label them as troublemakers, but do not let that happen. These children should not be shamed because they are passionate about the environment they are in, they need unconditional acceptance. Praise your child by helping them understand they are going to do wonderful things.
Are you the parent who is raising a child who is soft and pliable? It could be that you have an Overpleaser. Be careful because you do not want them to take over your parental responsibilities or become the parentified adult in your home. You must teach them to protect their boundaries. Help them understand their own needs, and to put themselves first in their lives. It is important to teach the Overpleaser when and how to say no appropriately.
It could be that your little one is shy and introverted, which means that you are raising Dreamer-Recluse. These are the children who may struggle with social situations and making and carrying out conversations with others. These are the ones who you catch staring off into the distance, coloring or doodling, or even spending time alone. Teach your child to be happy doing what makes them happy, and not to let other people tell them how to be. You want your child to be strong, and those who can be by themselves are strong. Remind them that they are wonderful just the way they are.
What if you have a child unafraid of authority? Your child may be a Rebel Nonconformist. These children may not comply with your desires unless they think it is their idea. No one doubts that these children are challenging; they just need to feel respected for who they are and their determination. Parents can feel better if they release control and judgment. Here is some great verbiage you could use, “I love how you are not influenced by popular opinions, however, when you fight against the rules you will burn yourself out.”
Oh, why isn’t my child the Happy-Go-Lucky one? You know the one that is always laughing and in a good mood. These children would never think about being demanding, fussy, or bossy. Sometimes these children seem unmotivated or not ambitious enough to parents. Take pride in knowing that children like this are the best at living in the here and now. Parents should take the time to celebrate the peace and joy they bring to every situation.
It is common to think that there are good traits and bad traits, but don’t fall into that trap, because things just are not always that straightforward. Read more here.
If you or your child is a….
1. Procrastinator = works well under pressure.
2. Selfish = great at taking care of themself.
3. Sensitive = has more empathy toward others.
4. Messy = highly creative.
5. Egotistical = extremely confident.
6. Shy = able to accomplish a great deal alone.
7. Neurotic = super-attentive to detail.
8. Distractible = has unique problem-solving skills.
9. Pessimistic = brings realism to all situations.
10. Lazy = an innovator.
11. Impulsive = a split-second decision-maker.
12. Cynical = will not fall victim to scams.
Between the ages of 3 and 5 personality development is an integral part of learning. Personality develops by a combination of the child’s individual characteristics, behavioral patterns, and temperament, as well as the child’s surroundings, and self-experiences. Read more here.
Remember that even the little examples of positive behavior you do will go a long way when it comes to shaping your child’s personality. For example, if you want your child to read instead of looking at a gadget, do it yourself first. You may find it amusing that your children won’t hear you, but they will imitate you.
